Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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