are you still at the devil's house?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize