I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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