Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
