Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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