I hate your face
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
