Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
