she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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