I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
