OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
