the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
