I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
