its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize