Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
