I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
