You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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