Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All the doctor said was why
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
