sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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