Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
