Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
