id be glad to
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
