OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
