Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
