Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
