So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
