his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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