ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He felt like a one man threesome
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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