I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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