So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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