my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
