she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
