UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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