"it" just moved
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize