I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
