I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
