North Korea, Best Korea!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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