you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize