I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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