i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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