you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
