I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
