i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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