you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
