spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
