this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize