I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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