Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
