scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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