Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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