Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize