I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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