It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
