OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
