listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You made out with two different species that night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
