When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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