oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
